In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"

These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.

The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng

This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

From Cathi

GRATITUDE

It's been one month exactly since my cancer was diagnosed.  What a month it's been!  I can't say that it's been fun, but it truly has been a month of blessings.  I have so much to be thankful for, and I'd like to share just a few thoughts about gratitude.

In 2007, Sister Bonnie D. Parkin gave a wonderful talk in our LDS General Conference, all about gratitude.  I really liked something that she said, although it seemed hard to grasp at the time.  I put this quote in my journal and have read it from time to time. "Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as hard things.  Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.'  All things means just that: good things, difficult things--not just some things.  He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy.  This is another evidence of His love."

When I first heard that talk and later read it again and again, I thought, "How could I be grateful for ALL things, even the difficult ones?"  Well, now I'm learning that even those difficult things--and we all have them--are truly blessings if we can learn from them.  The Lord wants us to be happy, and a great way to be happy is to be grateful.

I am so grateful for the blessings in my life.  I've got a fantastic husband and wonderful kids who make me smile and laugh all the time.  I've got the greatest extended family members and friends that a person could ask for.  I've been flooded with cards, letters, phone calls, e-mails, food, and the most creative, delightful gifts that you could imagine, since this yucky cancer came into my life.  I feel so spoiled!  But even more than that, I've been blessed with the faith and prayers of great people everywhere.  My burden is being made light by all of you, and I'm truly grateful.  The Lord is in charge, and He knows what we need and when we need it, and I'm grateful for the blessing of knowing that.

Those are the BIG things for which I'm grateful.  But there are lots of little things, too.  For example, a friend dropped off a book that she thought I might like to borrow--one that she'd read and enjoyed and hoped that I'd like, too.  That's a small thing, but it meant the world to me.  And I could list pages of things similar to that, for which I'm very grateful.  In fact, in the coming days, I may contribute a bit more to Jerry's blog, just to share some of my feelings of gratitude. 

On a medical note, I had a follow-up visit with my surgeon yesterday.  Things are healing well, and I got to have my drains removed from my chest.  Now, that's something to be grateful for!  Hurray!

In closing, I want to share the words of a song that I sang when I was a little kid in Primary and Sunday School.  The words are very simple and repetitious, but they describe exactly what I'm feeling right now:

I am glad for many things, many things, many things.
I am glad for many things that are mine today.
Thank you, thank you, my heart sings, my heart sings, my heart sings.
Thank you for the many things that are mine today.

Cathi
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3 comments:

  1. Emily SteeleMarch 16, 2011 at 7:23 AM

    Cathi--
    You're up early today! So glad to read your post and know that the drains are out and you're doing a bit better. Thanks for being such a great example of gratitude during your afflictions. Rach had kind of a downer clinic visit yesterday. A few lab results have the drs. baffled a bit, her platelets have dropped significantly, and her future seems uncertain all over again. But I will share your post with her today and we will continue to look for the positive things that have happened instead of dwelling on the challenges.

    I loved the Primary song you shared. A funny side note--I remember learning the first verse of that song, but not the second. And yet when we are playing games and I either win or something good happens, I say 'Thank you, thank you, my heart sings!' Our kids have laughed over the years as I say that (and many other) "Mom-isms!" I guess I learned the 2nd verse after all!

    Thanks for sharing your inspiring and uplifting thoughts with us!
    Love you!

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  2. TrishaMarch 16, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Cathi,
    It's so good to hear from you. I know what you mean about wondering how you can be thankful for ALL things, especially the hard things. But God truly has given us many blessings that we wouldn't otherwise see. I can't say the hard things I've been going through are "fun" at all, but I definitely have seen many blessings. It's nice to know the Lord loves us even through our trials and shows it to us in many ways. I think the prayers and faith we all share during these times is to help us build our testimonies. Thank you for sharing your faith and blessings because it has helped me. I love you and miss you!

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  3. Kelli @ writing the wavesMarch 19, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    I have so much gratitude for YOU, Cathi. Being grateful for ALL things - "the good, the bad, and the ugly" - is something that I've been working on so I really appreciate your amazing example. I attended a Time Out for Women this past weekend in Nashville and I thought of you so many times. You could be one of the presenters sharing your story and testimony and inspiring others. You definitely inspire me!!! :) Love you!

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