In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"

These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.

The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng

This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Cathi Update

We met with the oncologist again on Friday and now have a better idea of Cathi's treatment. Over the next two weeks, Cathi will have another surgery to install a port near her collar bone that will facilitate the chemo therapy. On April 12, Cathi will begin her first of six rounds of very aggressive medicines. She had a choice of a "two-drug" or a "three-drug" regimen and, being a true warrior, she chose the latter. The symptoms of fatigue, nausea, metalic taste, etc. will all be pretty strong and we were told she should expect to lose her hair, eyebrows, and her beautiful long eyelashes within the first two weeks.

Now that we are past the initial surgical challenges and the uncertainty of cancer spreading elsewhere, this next step is sort of settling in. While it's easy to forget the great miracles we've already witnessed and focus on this new, incredible physical challenge, we keep coming back to what we're being taught. It's all about faith, open communication (especially within our family), putting others before ourselves, looking for the learning and blessings along the way, and refusing to swallow this whole thing in its entirety...we're learning to take it one day at a time and sometimes, one moment at a time!

We love all of you and have come to appreciate your sensitivity and goodness over the past several weeks. We still need your prayers and have relied upon them many times.

And now, for your viewing pleasure...here are a few pictures of little Cathi Carroll growing up in Heber, UT.  When I was younger, our family made the trek through the mountains from Salt Lake through Heber to Vernal to visit my Grandmother Van Leuven.  I distinctly remember announcing, as we passed the old A&W on Main Street in Heber that I would someday marry a girl from Heber and become a dentist.  Well, I didn't quite make dental school, but I did marry the prettiest little gal from one of the prettiest little places on the earth.