In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"

These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.

The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng

This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Power of PINK

(from Cathi)

I must admit that pink has never been my favorite color. From the time I was a little girl, I've always preferred blue. My mom often bought blue dresses for me to wear when I was an infant and a toddler, because people said that blue went so well with my blue eyes, my blonde hair, and my fair skin. I loved the color blue when I was very young, and I continue to love it. It's so peaceful and calming, and I enjoy just about every shade.

Pink has never been a favorite; I could take it or leave it. When our two daughters were little, I dressed them in pink occasionally, but I always thought it was more fun to be different, so I dressed them in yellow, lavender, blue, green, peach--almost anything but pink. Silly, huh?

Well, during the past several months, I'll admit that I have learned to love the color pink, especially anything that has to do with breast cancer awareness. When I see the pink breast cancer ribbon symbol, I make a mental and emotional connection. I'm grateful for that little symbol and for the color pink, and most of all, I'm grateful for the strides that are being made to prevent and treat breast cancer.

I'd like to share a few pink things that have been given to me during these past few months and what they've meant to me. I've been given many beautiful pink flowers, and I've loved those (along with every other flower that I've received), and I've also been given some extra-special pink gifts that have truly buoyed up my spirit. Here's a few pictures of pink gifts I received just in the past week...



On March 1, the night before my mastectomy, our family attended a church program for the teen-age girls in our ward (church congregation). It was a beautiful program, and I was glad that I could attend, even though I was filled with jitters and worries about my upcoming surgery. Well, after the program ended, I noticed that all of the girls and youth leaders were wearing pink bracelets. A friend had ordered enough bracelets for everyone, to support me in my journey through surgery, chemo, and all that was ahead of me. Wow! What a great feeling of support!

That same friend (plus another dear friend) gave me a big pink tote bag that night. Inside were some pink slippers, a book light (perfect for this reading addict), a pink Snuggie, and a card with wonderful words of encouragement. That sweet gift really gave me courage to face the next day's surgery.

Just two days later, as I came home from my surgery--feeling very nervous and overwhelmed and wishing that I could still be in the hospital for a bit more professional medical care--I was in for a wonderful surprise. A dear friend from church had come over the night before, and she and her two daughters, along with our two daughters, had decorated our home. There were pretty pink bows tied around our kitchen chairs, our living room chairs and lamps, and the kitchen light fixture. There was a "welcome home" sign and a candy bar poster (which makes me laugh even now, when I think of its silliness) and a huge basket full of goodies too numerous to name. My heart was truly made lighter by this incredible act of kindness.

Just a couple of days later, as I was feeling a bit down-in-the-dumps with my post-surgery woes, a box was dropped off at our home. But this was not just an ordinary box. It was a lovely shade of pale pink, covered with pictures of adorable little girls and the words "Girls just want to have fun!" Inside the box were all sorts of treasures--a pink journal, pink notecards, a pretty vase with a pink tassle, candy, and even pink hot chocolate mix in a darling pink tin. (And I'm a tin collector!) Once again, these pink gifts, given with such love and thoughtfulness, totally brightened my day and warmed my heart.

Nearly six weeks passed, and it was just about time to begin my first chemo treatment. I had already gone through a lot of difficult things, yet I still had to go through something as big as chemo, and I'll admit that I was scared to death. Most of it was just the "fear of the unknown," and the rest was just the thought of: "Am I strong enough to handle this for the next four-plus months?" To say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement.

Well, the Sunday before I had my first treatment, I was sitting in church, waiting for our services to begin. A friend came up to me, carrying the largest pink tote bag I've ever seen. It was absolutely bulging with goodies! This sweet friend, along with several other good friends from church, had put this wonderful "chemo bag" together for me, and it was given with a hug and best wishes. I was so touched by this incredibly kind and generous gift! I must admit that I was quite excited to see what was inside, and so were the kids. When church ended and we all went home, our first thought was to dump the bag and check out all the treasures. It was like a mini-Christmas. There was every kind of goodie imaginable--from a water bottle to a fancy compact mirror, notecards, pens, candy, mints, magazines, scarves, a hat, a coin purse, slipper socks, make-up bags, Baskin Robbins gift certificates, and more--almost all of it pink. Oh, and there was even a bright pink funky fluffy blanket. But best of all, every single item had a neat little note that went with it. (You can be sure that every single note is saved in my scrapbook.) Every one of those little gifts has been well-used and treasured during these past months of chemo.

I wish I could write about every other gift (pink or not) that I've received during these past few months. I've been given some beautiful pink jewelry, which means a great deal to me. I've been given a pretty pink towel, and even some socks with the breast cancer symbol on them. One dear friend, who was visiting from Utah, gave me a basket of goodies called "Cathi's Cancer Cit (Kit)" and it was both a useful and humorous gift--just what I needed at that time! Every gift has been much more than a tangible thing. Each one has been given with love and support, and they've given me courage, a brighter heart, and a feeling of power over this crazy disease.

Thanks and love to everyone! And by the way, this week I began my last round of chemo and received the following PINK certificate from the great folks that have taken care of me at the cancer center!!