I read this morning about the success of the new broadway musical, "The Book of Mormon." I've read that it depicts Mormons and Mormon missionaries as naive do-gooders that, throughout the show, learn what real life is about. If there is any group of people that are more apt to poke fun at themselves, it's us...Mormons. There is a certain culture I grew up with that does provide a lot of material for a good comedy. I'm not sure how close this musical gets to the line of disrespect and it isn't important enough to me to find out, but reading about this portrayal of naivety has caused me to ponder how Cathi's cancer (something VERY real for our family) has forced me to reassess my own faith.
Several postings back, when this cancer was still very raw and new, I wrote about an inner struggle I was having with my faith. The core of my struggle was, "Am I seeking to have faith or am I just being naive to comfort myself?" All my life, I've held to the beliefs of my parents and their parents...over a dozen of my ancestral lines go back to the Mormon pioneers who believed a modern day prophet was upon the earth...people who left all they had and spent all they had to get to America only to be persecuted and pushed further and further into the wild western territory of the United States. I was born and raised in Salt Lake City simply because of the great sacrifices of these European ancestors to get there so they could be free to live their beliefs. My nature has always been to follow my heart with those things that are imprinted upon it, those things that are not seen but are true. I've also received a lot of kidding about not drinking or smoking or swearing or becoming uncomfortable with crude language or topics (which I don't mind a bit). But am I just being naive?
As I contemplate my faith this morning, I think about how our family is handling this cancer...something that could be so dark and devastating to all of us. Some of you might have been uncomfortable with the last silly posting with Cathi's funny wig poses...and maybe wondered to yourself, "Poor Jerry and Cathi are putting up such a good front but I know they are really suffering inside." It is true that, from time to time, each member of our family will feel sorry for ourselves as we take in the reality of this challenge. But any strength, any feeling of hope and joy you feel from our family during this time is real...it comes from our faith that God is real and He is in the details of our lives. We know this. Just as my pioneer forbearers put one foot in front of the other, leaving their possessions behind and burying children on the trail because of THEIR faith during tought times, we are NOT naive about the difficulties cancer requires and the potential places it could lead us but have chosen to take the path of faith...and in doing so, have had our faith increased by seeing many miracles we can't deny. We shouldn't be honored for our faith. We have simply drawn from the faith of many others who share our beliefs and many who don't. But we do want you to know of our trust in the Lord and to see the blessings we are receiving for that trust. The great thing is, anyone is capable of making this same choice and receiving these same kinds of blessings during a challenge. Cancer sounds so frightening and big, but I'm convinced that every person struggles (or will struggle) with challenges that are just as big for them.
There is no other way to handle tough times in our lives...it's all about faith in someone who has the power to guide our path. And it's NOT being naive.
In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"
These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.
The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng
This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.
These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.
The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng
This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.
