In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"

These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.

The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng

This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Vodka

Last night, Cathi, Leah and Emma were invited to a "ladies only" party hosted by our WONDERFUL neighbors. The party was actually in honor of people we know who have struggled with cancer and other diseases (including Cathi, our other neighbor Bonnie, and the late husband of one of the hosts, Shelley, who died last year of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease...he was only 52 years old). Christy, Shelly's daughter, told Cathi that her hope was that she and Bonnie could attend and that her dad would be able to look down from Heaven and be there as well. The breast cancer symbol had been expertly mowed into their front lawn, two husbands (in black clothes and sunglasses) were parking cars for guests, the inside of their home was decorated very nicely, they had prepared beautiful cakes and refreshments for the guests, and had several very nice items to raffle in order to raise money for cancer and CJD research. All in all, it was a very classy affair.

Well, my three sheltered Van Leuven ladies went over and walked directly to where the drinks were being served thinking, "those pretty pink drinks with the strawberries look fun"...and proceeded to partake. Cathi thought it tasted good and began mingling with the other women. Emma thought it was awful but politely kept drinking. Leah, on the other hand, loved it, downed it, and went back for more. As she approached the counter, she saw a sign that explained the content of these particular drinks...vodka.


Coming from a Mormon family, this was quite shocking news for Leah. She quietly told Emma about "their sin" and waited while watching their mom finish up her current conversation, intermittently sipping her drink. Finally, when there was a lull, the girls told Cathi she was drinking liquor. In disbelief, Cathi looked over at the sign and, within a few seconds, all three were laughing at what they had done!

Needless to say, for a 13 year old, a 16 year old, and a 48 year old who have never tasted anything harder than a Sprite on rocks, this was a unique experience. They were all a little overly light-hearted and giddy when they came home to tell me about their "new" experience...it was pretty hilarious!

We are SO GRATEFUL for good neighbors who show such genuine care toward our family and so tolerant of our funny ways. We've grown to love everyone around our culdesac and appreciate their kindness since moving to Castle Rock two years ago. Bonnie, Claudia, Shelley, and Christy have been such strong examples for us of women who continue to forge through their sadness and loss with such a positive outlook and willingness to serve and help those around them.

True Confessions About Jam

I must share a true confession with you. I, Cathi Van Leuven, am forty-eight years old and have never made jam before...until today! I grew up with a mom who cooked, canned, and froze just about everything, yet for some reason I've never tried doing all of those wonderful things that my mom used to do. I've never been an adventurous cook because I'm always afraid that if I try something new it won't turn out well.  I'm not a bad cook, I'm just not very brave about trying new things. Dumb, huh?


Well, this week I found some wonderful strawberries on a GREAT sale, and I bought quite a few. The kids and I had strawberry shortcake (Jerry was in New York all week), and the next day Leah and I sliced most of the berries, put them in bags, and froze them. How nice to have some luscious frozen berries for future smoothies or other goodies!

Since freezing the berries, I've been thinking that I really need to try making some jam. After all, everyone says that making freezer jam is super-easy. Well, I overcame my fear and stubbornness, found a recipe on the internet, read all of the comments so that I'd know how to tweak the recipe, and decided that this was my week to make jam. Yesterday, I bought pectin and some groovy plastic freezer jars. (I didn't even know that these existed until yesterday.) Today I woke up feeling very tired and NOT in the mood to make jam, but I got over it quickly. I bought a bunch more berries, came home, and got to work. Emma, Leah, and I soon had fourteen jars full of jam, plus more sliced berries for the freezer. How cool is that? Granted, all of you have probably made jam many times before and would think nothing of my little homemaking victory. But for me it was a BIG DEAL. Silly but significant, too!

I can't help but think that my experience with cancer has helped me to be a bit braver and to try things that I haven't done before. I'm grateful for the energy that I had today to try something new, for two sweet daughters who made our little project a lot of fun, and for that nice little feeling of accomplishment when the task was finished. I may not have run a marathon or won a major award, but I did something new!