In the Book of Mormon, there is a record of a family who traveled from the Tower of Babel to the American continent. The family of Jared soon received their first glimpse of a vast, stormy ocean, having been required of the Lord to crawl into some mysterious air-tight vessels they were promised would carry them safely to a better place. As they gazed into the deep, moving water, they breathed the unfamiliar sea salt and felt the ice cold water lap at their feet. "What will become of our family?" "Can we do this thing that God requires of us?"

These were the questions we asked as our family stood on the edge of a new journey in February 2011. Before Cathi was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, we saw the waves of an unfamiliar storm brewing and felt the fear of anticipation. When the cancer was certain, our family was required to wade into the cold water, crawl into a mysterious vessel and trust the Lord would be in charge.

The family of Jared was given stones touched by the finger of the Lord that provided light inside their vessels "that they might not cross the great waters in darkness......and it came to pass that...(they) set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God. And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind. And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord. And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water." Read the rest: http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/6?lang=eng

This blog is the captain's log of our family's journey. It will serve to keep all of you updated on Cathi's condition but also be a place where I can express the lessons we are learning so that it might be a source of strength for others who are going through difficult challenges. We are certainly not unique in this regard. I hope to continue trusting in the light we have been given and to lead our family when we are encompassed by the dark ocean or tossed by its waves. We sincerely seek for your faith in asking the Lord to calm the water, give strength beyond our own and lead all of us of us to a better place.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Prayer

Friends and Family, I would like to ask you to find a moment in your week to offer a special prayer for Cathi. This stage of chemo is full of physical fatigue and discomfort, but especially mental weariness and loneliness. I've seen Cathi ascend our stairs and struggle to breath or to keep her balance. I watch her battle every day to be positive and to sometimes just survive the day. When others are around her, they see happy Cathi or smiling Sister Van Leuven. An important part of her determination to lick this cancer/chemo experience is to NOT give in to the drama. However, another important strategy Cathi is learning is to be open and genuine about her suffering, at least with me. We've had some great talks the past few weeks that have always ended up as a blessing for both of us.

I believe in the power of prayer. I've been the recipient of others' prayers and have also participated in praying for others who experience small miracles as a result. This weekend I pondered the greatness of our forefathers and the lasting principles that aided them in their moments of trial.


Here's something President Abraham Lincoln stated to the troops regarding his dependence upon prayer during a challenging time...

"Well, I will tell you how it was. In the pinch of the campaign up there (at Gettysburg) when everybody seemed panic stricken and nobody could tell what was going to happen, oppressed by the gravity of our affairs, I went to my room one day and locked the door and got down on my knees before Almighty God and prayed to Him mightily for victory at Gettysburg.
I told Him that this war was His war, and our cause His cause, but we could not stand another Fredericksburg or Chancellorsville... And after that, I don't know how it was, and I cannot explain it, but soon a sweet comfort crept into my soul. The feeling came that God had taken the whole business into His own hands and that things would go right at Gettysburg and that is why I had no fears about you." [July 5, 1863]

Like Lincoln, I believe our personal battles are the Lord's battles if we will only release our grip and allow Him to take over. It is the difference between using our own tenacious will to row through an ocean of giant waves blocking our sight vs having the faith to just hoist a sail and allow the very winds that cause the waves to carry us through. Prayer is what allows us to do this...and I ask that you join me in a private moment this week to help lift Cathi's sail. Today she will have her fifth round of chemo with only one more left in three weeks. Although the end is in sight, she is weary (behind her smile). If you haven't had a moment of sincere reflection and prayer in awhile, I hope this will also help you to plan for that pause in your life. I was reminded this week of my need to stop rowing, to pause longer, and to reach harder for the help of Him who is so anxious to carry me through my battles. If you have a moment, click below to hear someone else's inspiring experience with prayer.