Vodka

Last night, Cathi, Leah and Emma were invited to a "ladies only" party hosted by our WONDERFUL neighbors. The party was actually in honor of people we know who have struggled with cancer and other diseases (including Cathi, our other neighbor Bonnie, and the late husband of one of the hosts, Shelley, who died last year of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease...he was only 52 years old). Christy, Shelly's daughter, told Cathi that her hope was that she and Bonnie could attend and that her dad would be able to look down from Heaven and be there as well. The breast cancer symbol had been expertly mowed into their front lawn, two husbands (in black clothes and sunglasses) were parking cars for guests, the inside of their home was decorated very nicely, they had prepared beautiful cakes and refreshments for the guests, and had several very nice items to raffle in order to raise money for cancer and CJD research. All in all, it was a very classy affair.

Well, my three sheltered Van Leuven ladies went over and walked directly to where the drinks were being served thinking, "those pretty pink drinks with the strawberries look fun"...and proceeded to partake. Cathi thought it tasted good and began mingling with the other women. Emma thought it was awful but politely kept drinking. Leah, on the other hand, loved it, downed it, and went back for more. As she approached the counter, she saw a sign that explained the content of these particular drinks...vodka.

Coming from a Mormon family, this was quite shocking news for Leah. She quietly told Emma about "their sin" and waited while watching their mom finish up her current conversation, intermittently sipping her drink. Finally, when there was a lull, the girls told Cathi she was drinking liquor. In disbelief, Cathi looked over at the sign and, within a few seconds, all three were laughing at what they had done!

Needless to say, for a 13 year old, a 16 year old, and a 48 year old who have never tasted anything harder than a Sprite on rocks, this was a unique experience. They were all a little overly light-hearted and giddy when they came home to tell me about their "new" experience...it was pretty hilarious!

We are SO GRATEFUL for good neighbors who show such genuine care toward our family and so tolerant of our funny ways. We've grown to love everyone around our culdesac and appreciate their kindness since moving to Castle Rock two years ago. Bonnie, Claudia, Shelley, and Christy have been such strong examples for us of women who continue to forge through their sadness and loss with such a positive outlook and willingness to serve and help those around them.

True Confessions About Jam

I must share a true confession with you. I, Cathi Van Leuven, am forty-eight years old and have never made jam before...until today! I grew up with a mom who cooked, canned, and froze just about everything, yet for some reason I've never tried doing all of those wonderful things that my mom used to do. I've never been an adventurous cook because I'm always afraid that if I try something new it won't turn out well.  I'm not a bad cook, I'm just not very brave about trying new things. Dumb, huh?

Well, this week I found some wonderful strawberries on a GREAT sale, and I bought quite a few. The kids and I had strawberry shortcake (Jerry was in New York all week), and the next day Leah and I sliced most of the berries, put them in bags, and froze them. How nice to have some luscious frozen berries for future smoothies or other goodies!

Since freezing the berries, I've been thinking that I really need to try making some jam. After all, everyone says that making freezer jam is super-easy. Well, I overcame my fear and stubbornness, found a recipe on the internet, read all of the comments so that I'd know how to tweak the recipe, and decided that this was my week to make jam. Yesterday, I bought pectin and some groovy plastic freezer jars. (I didn't even know that these existed until yesterday.) Today I woke up feeling very tired and NOT in the mood to make jam, but I got over it quickly. I bought a bunch more berries, came home, and got to work. Emma, Leah, and I soon had fourteen jars full of jam, plus more sliced berries for the freezer. How cool is that? Granted, all of you have probably made jam many times before and would think nothing of my little homemaking victory. But for me it was a BIG DEAL. Silly but significant, too!

I can't help but think that my experience with cancer has helped me to be a bit braver and to try things that I haven't done before. I'm grateful for the energy that I had today to try something new, for two sweet daughters who made our little project a lot of fun, and for that nice little feeling of accomplishment when the task was finished. I may not have run a marathon or won a major award, but I did something new!

Some Lists

I asked Cathi if she could tell me about all the weird ongoing symptoms she experiences from her chemo, surgeries, etc. Since most of you don't live with her, I thought it might be interesting for you to hear about her normal life in the form of this list...

• dry lips
• dry skin
• dry nasal passage
• diarrhea at times
• constipation at times
• swelling in her arms, hands, feet, and legs
• metal taste in her mouth
• cold sores
• loss of hair
• soreness in her chest and arms, particularly after her Nulastin injection that increases creation of her white blood cells
• urinary tract infection (just one so far)
• dizziness
• blurry eyes
• restlessness and fatigue (at the same time!)
• inability to focus on things
• lack of memory
• sad moods (occasionally)
• hot and cold flashes (especially at night)
• sleeplessness at night
• lack of appetite (at times)
• nausea (only once for a straight hour)
• fluid retention (for a few days after chemo)
• sensitivity to the sun (got a sunburn after just a few minutes)
• unhealed wound where the port was put in her chest
• constant cough and weird voice because of damage to vocal cords during surgery

Here are the things that bring Cathi comfort (to sort of counter-balance the negative symptoms):

• Wearing a soft turban-like hat at night to keep her head warm
• warm, long showers
• back rubs from her wonderful husband
• lots of soft pillows and blankets
• staying indoors out of the sun (which comes naturally to her anyway!)
• Tylenol, Tums, Imodium and Colace...some of her over-the-counter medicines of choice
• the two anti-nausea drugs Compazine and Kytril (they work miracles to prevent nausea for the first 6 days after chemo)
• medicated lip balm (given as a gift from a friend who recently finished chemo)
• Ativan (a drug she takes the first week after chemo that helps her to sleep at night)

Although you will rarely hear Cathi complain about this whole experience (and more likely hear her make light of it), this is NOT the easiest thing in the world. The effects of the chemo are much more than physical. Cathi explains that because the drugs affect her concentration and cause restlessness and fatigue at the same time...and because the treatment spans so many weeks, it's really easy to slip into irrational thinking and forget that it will end. Fortunately, the timing of the worst effects have been fairly routine. She gets her chemo on a Tuesday and will be fine Tuesday and Wednesday. Somewhere around Thursday, the worst will start kicking in and she'll suffer through until Saturday when she starts feeling a little better.

The good news is that she is on the downhill side of this.  By August, the chemo will be done and she will start on a 5-year regimen of hormone therapy, which will be another fun adventure (but nothing like what she has been enduring).

I'll end with another list...things I (we) have gained as a result of this experience...

• new friendships
• stronger old friendships
• Food (I think of the many meals we've received as some of the "perks" of cancer and I'm sad at the thoughts of these ending someday!)
• hugs from strangers
• flowers
• greater sense of family
• learning what the power of faith means and learning to rely upon it
• courage
• perspective
• an appreciation for Cathi's beautiful eyes
• humility
• awareness of little things
• greater love of nature
• greater love of good music
• enthusiasm for life
• learning not to sweat the dumb stuff
• flexibility
• expressiveness
• general, stronger connection with people
• chance to prove my love to Cathi
• new appreciation for her
• new dependence upon the Lord
• gratitude

Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for Cathi and serve our family in so many ways.  We are very blessed!

Flower Power

(From Cathi)

The other morning, I received a wonderful surprise from a dear friend. She called me up and asked if she could come over and give me some flowers that she'd picked from her yard. Of course, that sounded wonderful to me. Well, when she walked in, carrying a vase full of lilacs, my heart just melted. The smell was heavenly, and the flowers were beautiful to look at, as well. Lilacs are some of my favorites, and the lovely smell took me right back to my childhood. Just one whiff made me think of all the times when I would stop and smell the lilac bushes near our home, as I walked home from school each day. Giving me those flowers was a small and simple thing, yet it totally made my day!

Receiving those lilacs yesterday made me think of all the other beautiful flowers that I've been given during the past few months. I've had friends bring flowers as they've come to visit, and I've also had friends and family send flowers from great distances. Some have been rather simple bouquets, and others have been elegant arrangements. There have been all colors and many varieties of flowers, and I've loved them all. When I've looked at them or enjoyed their scents, I've been reminded of the great people who have shared their love and support. Although every single flower has been appreciated greatly, I want to mention a couple of bouquets in particular:

On February 15, less than an hour after receiving the unpleasant phone call, telling me that I had breast cancer, a dear friend from church came by with a bouquet of flowers. She didn't have much to say, but she gave me a big hug, shed a few tears with me, and let me know that she was there for me. Her simple act of kindness truly let me know that I was not alone in my new challenge. I'll never forget how that felt!

Another beautiful bouquet arrived the week after I had my first chemo treatment. It was an edible fruit bouquet--huge, delightfully arranged, and delicious! The thing that was so special about this lovely arrangement is that it was sent by two people I've never even met. They are Western Union co-workers from California, and they cared enough about Jerry and our family to send this incredibly thoughtful and generous gift. They will never know how much that touched my heart!

Jerry mentioned a couple of weeks ago that the Young Women (ages 12-18) and leaders in our church have been planting flowers for us. Whenever I see the beautiful varieties of flowers on our front porch, I'm reminded of how much I love these wonderful teen-age girls and adult leaders. I'm so privileged to teach and get to associate with them all, and I love it! I'm truly blessed!

Half Way There & Church Family

Cathi has now endured three of the six rounds of chemo she is scheduled for...so she almost has MOST of this behind her.  The week of chemo has become almost routine...Tuesday she receives the chemo drugs and feels great; Wednesday she goes back and receives an injection to boost her white blood cell count and feels okay; Thursday she's in bed sleeping solid and also feels a lot of aching in her chest from the white blood cell production; Friday she's still tired but not as much; Saturday she starts getting back to her normal self.  We've noticed that with each round, she's a little more wiped out and might have an extra symptom (this last time, she developed some mouth sores)...but for the most part, it's routine.  She doesn't talk about it much, but I think looking ahead at having to continually repeat this "routine" is a little emotionally taxing.  But if you're a kid in the Van Leuven family right now, you're basically seeing a happy, engaged, fun Mom.

Meanwhile, life goes on...last week, I stepped up into the laundry room from the garage and felt a familiar, painful ZAP down my back and legs.  I crawled into bed for a few days and swallowed steroids and pain killer.  I'm doing great now, but it was pretty weird with both Cathi and I confined to the sick bed together.  I am SO grateful for our church and the people in it.  The first day of my confinement, one of our church members took Cathi for her chemo (and a different church member took her back for her injection the following day).  I texted another church member and asked if she could pick up medicine from the pharmacy for me...20 minutes later, it was done.  I called another church member and asked if he would go by my office and pick up my laptop so I could work at home.  He finished an important meeting he had and immediately made the trip to my office and not only delivered my laptop to me, but (with another church member) gave me a Priesthood blessing that speeded up my recovery.  On Thursday, we didn't have one but TWO meals delivered...both delicious!  We count ourselves very blessed to be part of such a wonderful "family" of friends who truly care about each other and serve people around them (both in and out of our church).

Unconditional Real Love

When I brought Cathi home from her surgery many weeks ago, we turned into our culdesac and immediately saw that someone had posted a bright, pink flag in our front yard with the breast cancer emblem on it.  At first, we were a little concerned thinking our neighbors might think we were advertising our great suffering or asking for their pity.  But soon it became apparent that this gesture was the beginning of something wonderful.

Over the last several weeks, we have noticed a steady stream of new, various types of flowers being planted on our front porch.  Because we live at 6300 feet elevation and have had occasional snowfall, the flowers have sometimes disappeared during the cold then reappeared when the air warms up.  It soon became apparent that the person responsible for this kindness was NOT just one person but many.

We are so fortunate to have people in our lives that willingly forget themselves and put the needs of others first.  I remember hearing a story about a woman who lost her husband.  After the funeral, the burial, the big family dinner...after all the noise had diminished and this woman finally found herself alone in her home, she allowed herself to break down and cry...to finally mourn the loss of her husband and the beginning of a new, lonely life without him.  Several hours went by and her grief couldn't be consoled.  She began walking through her dark, empty house, recalling memories and feeling the pain of her loss.  As she passed by one of the windows, something caught her eye through the curtains.  Why would her best friend's car still be parked in the street this time of night?  As she looked closer, she could see the face of someone behind the steering wheel and suddenly felt a rush of love as she realized that there was someone in that car who was also mourning in the dark...for her.  Her friend knew she needed time alone to experience her grief and that her greatest expression of love would be quietly sitting in her car, sharing her sadness from a distance.

In 1 Timothy 4:12 we are told, "...be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."  There is power in selfless, unconditional, real love...both for the giver and for the receiver.  I believe that that is at the core of what life is all about.  We want you to know that we feel your quiet sadness as we pass through this trial.  We feel you cheering Cathi on as she moves onto her next chemo treatment.  We feel a lot of loving arms around our family keeping us safe, happy, and hopeful.  Thank you.

The following video expresses the power of this unconditional real love in a remarkable way, reflected in the lives of a bunch of teenage girls...

Pity Party

A couple of weeks ago, our family had a great Saturday together. Leah and I went shopping for our Easter dinner and it felt good to do a big, organized grocery shopping expedition. We all colored boiled eggs together, made cookies together, and had an all-around enjoyable Saturday. But by the end of the day, I was feeling plenty tired and sore and just ready for bed. Jerry, the kids, and I gathered in our bedroom for family prayer, something we do each morning and evening. Jerry called on Emma to prayer and I thought he said “Mama,” so I started praying. Of course the kids exploded with the giggles.

For some reason that night, I didn't find my hearing loss to be funny. Instead, it just made me angry and embarrassed, and soon I was in tears. The kids felt terrible and quickly left our room, probably wondering if their mom was cracking up. I was left feeling very sorry for myself. It didn't seem fair that I have to struggle with hearing loss, on top of everything else. These $4000 hearing aids that I wear are great in many ways, but they still don't give me crystal-clear hearing. Therefore, I still misunderstand things or miss them completely, and it embarrasses me--even in front of my own family sometimes! Oh, poor me!

A couple of minutes later--still with tears in my eyes--I went to retrieve a pillow from behind a chair in our bedroom. I reached with my right arm (not so strong, since having nineteen lymph nodes removed a couple of months ago), and I lost my balance, nearly toppling over. Jerry walked in during all of that, and then I DID get embarrassed. By this time, I was an angry, awkward, sad, sobbing, feel-sorry-for-myself mess!

Jerry (otherwise known as Dr. Jerry or Nurse Jerry) sat down with me and told me that he could tell that the adversary was having a heyday with me, causing me to dwell in self-pity rather than reality. I knew he was right, and I appreciated his counsel, yet I was still so tired, mad and sad that I didn't really want to talk about it. I just needed some sleep.

Well, the next morning turned out to be a cold, overcast Easter Sunday, yet it was still a beautiful day. (I love cloudy days!) I woke up with a clear mind and a heart full of gratitude, forgetting the woes of the night before. Yes, I still have a hearing loss, but so do many others in this world. In fact, many cannot hear at all. Yes, I still am struggling with the challenges of cancer and its treatment, but so are many others. Truly, every single person in the human race is struggling with a variety of challenges; it's just part of mortality. Our Savior is aware of every single challenge--big and small--that we go through, and He is there to help us through these trials, every step of the way. He knows what we're experiencing because he has already atoned for us, and His perfect love will see us through! Focusing on those truths changed my dark perspective from the night before to one of light and joy.

What a great Easter day I had and how grateful I was that my little "pity party" of the previous night had ended. My mind and heart had changed from a "poor me" attitude to an "attitude of gratitude," and that's where I want to stay.

Faith or Naivety?

 I read this morning about the success of the new broadway musical, "The Book of Mormon." I've read that it depicts Mormons and Mormon missionaries as naive do-gooders that, throughout the show, learn what real life is about. If there is any group of people that are more apt to poke fun at themselves, it's us...Mormons. There is a certain culture I grew up with that does provide a lot of material for a good comedy.  I'm not sure how close this musical gets to the line of disrespect and it isn't important enough to me to find out, but reading about this portrayal of naivety has caused me to ponder how Cathi's cancer (something VERY real for our family) has forced me to reassess my own faith.

Several postings back, when this cancer was still very raw and new, I wrote about an inner struggle I was having with my faith. The core of my struggle was, "Am I seeking to have faith or am I just being naive to comfort myself?" All my life, I've held to the beliefs of my parents and their parents...over a dozen of my ancestral lines go back to the Mormon pioneers who believed a modern day prophet was upon the earth...people who left all they had and spent all they had to get to America only to be persecuted and pushed further and further into the wild western territory of the United States. I was born and raised in Salt Lake City simply because of the great sacrifices of these European ancestors to get there so they could be free to live their beliefs.  My nature has always been to follow my heart with those things that are imprinted upon it, those things that are not seen but are true.  I've also received a lot of kidding about not drinking or smoking or swearing or becoming uncomfortable with crude language or topics (which I don't mind a bit).  But am I just being naive?

As I contemplate my faith this morning, I think about how our family is handling this cancer...something that could be so dark and devastating to all of us. Some of you might have been uncomfortable with the last silly posting with Cathi's funny wig poses...and maybe wondered to yourself, "Poor Jerry and Cathi are putting up such a good front but I know they are really suffering inside." It is true that, from time to time, each member of our family will feel sorry for ourselves as we take in the reality of this challenge. But any strength, any feeling of hope and joy you feel from our family during this time is real...it comes from our faith that God is real and He is in the details of our lives. We know this.  Just as my pioneer forbearers put one foot in front of the other, leaving their possessions behind and burying children on the trail because of THEIR faith during tought times, we are NOT naive about the difficulties cancer requires and the potential places it could lead us but have chosen to take the path of faith...and in doing so, have had our faith increased by seeing many miracles we can't deny. We shouldn't be honored for our faith.  We have simply drawn from the faith of many others who share our beliefs and many who don't.  But we do want you to know of our trust in the Lord and to see the blessings we are receiving for that trust. The great thing is, anyone is capable of making this same choice and receiving these same kinds of blessings during a challenge.  Cancer sounds so frightening and big, but I'm convinced that every person struggles (or will struggle) with challenges that are just as big for them.

There is no other way to handle tough times in our lives...it's all about faith in someone who has the power to guide our path.  And it's NOT being naive.

The Look

We've all sort of gotten used to seeing Cathi around the house in a turban or scarf this week...but none of us were quite prepared for her enthusiasm over trying out new wigs.  It's almost like watching the old movie "Three Faces of Eve" or even scarier..."Sybil."

Because she can't quite decide on the look she really wants, we thought it would be a good idea to ask the people who know her best...what do YOU think?  Look at each photo below then vote (to the right) the look you think depicts the REAL Cathi Van Leuven.  Feel free to post a comment!

Lola

Lucinda

Betty

Myrtle

Marilyn

Frita

Alberniqua

Thelma Lou

Donna K

Here's the look that Cathi made her first real public appearance with at church this morning...the kids and I think it's a keeper!

A Family Night to Remember

Monday night, we all gathered around and took turns snipping and buzzing Mom's tender head, careful not to cause any minor cuts (which could be a big problem with no white blood cells to fight off infection). One of the last major cancer mysteries is now finally solved...no more need to worry about this milestone...IT IS DONE! 

Here's the Good Sport herself flashing her characteristic peace sign while her anxious offspring are hoarding celebatory pizza to build up their artistic energy...

Here's Leah sporting her Florida Gators pajamas while she takes some of the first snips...

Here's Emma finally satisfying her urge to give her mom an 80's mullet...

Here's my Little Buddy refusing to take any part of this while enjoying more pizza...

Here's Mom trying to be either a punk rocker or a tough motorcycle mama...we weren't sure which...

Finally, here's the boy who was most anxious of all to give his mom the very same buzz cut she always hated on him.  This is about the time when all the hair stylists and onlookers turned into Mom's greatest cheerleaders...

Here is what was left of Mom's hair...

And of course, Mom was left...still the same, fun, roll-with-the-punches Mom.  She quietly left the pizza, the hair and all the excitement and found herself in front of her bathroom mirror, alone.  I'm sure she took a deep breath and wiped a few tears as she told herself, "I'm doing it!"

Stage HAIR FALLOUT

Well, I think we're getting close to that very special moment of shaving Mom's head.  Cathi took a shower tonight and noticed many strands of hair on the towel.  She stated several weeks ago that rather than suffering through a long-term fallout, she'll get it all done at once since it's going to come out anyway.

For the kids, it's almost like a long-awaited, approaching holiday.  All of our "family talk" about Mom losing her hair has been full of jokes, laughter, anticipation, and "who" gets to do the honors.  For me, it means we're progessing to the next stage of this this weird period of our lives.  Cathi becoming bald seems much less critical than I thought it would be back when cancer was just a possibility.  As for the patient...she has laughed with the rest of us and has initiated many of the jokes.  But as I looked into her tired eyes tonight and heard her tell me "it" is starting, I knew this was going to be harder for her than I thought. 

I can't really appreciate what it must feel like to lose parts of my body that have helped to define "who I am" to the world.  But I will say, I am married to someone whose beauty and individual self-worth continue to increase as she fights each stage of her battle with cancer.  I'm posting the following video about a fellow blogger who learned with her family, through there own tragic circumstances, just how fleeting certain aspects of life are...and most important, how lasting and truly joyful are things that much of the world pays so little attention to...being a mom, being married to your best friend, and the daily, undramatic routines of a family doing their best to become who the Lord wants them to be.

It's A Beautiful Day!

I'm on Day Ten of my chemo treatment, and things are going very well thus far.  Granted, I have a long way to go until mid-August, but I'm not complaining.  I've had absolutely zero nausea, thanks to miracle drugs.  I feel quite well, despite some fatigue and soreness, but it could be so much worse.  I have much to be grateful for!  And on that note, I just want to mention a few things that have made me happy today (and yesterday, too).  Here goes (in no particular order):

1. It is an absolutely gorgeous spring day here in Castle Rock.  I can't imagine living in a prettier, more picturesque little town.  I love it here!
2. Our oldest son, Sam, is visiting for a week, and we're having such a good time together.  When he called weeks ago to tell us that he wanted to visit in mid-April, I was certain that I'd be sleeping or miserable nearly the whole time he was here.  Not so! 
3. When I finished breakfast this morning, I went into our bedroom to find that the bed was already made.  Sam and William (our youngest) had made it for me.  How nice is that?!
4. Yesterday we received wonderful, uplifting e-mails from our son Andrew (on a church mission in the Dominican  Republic) and from his mission president.  They made this mama so happy (and a bit proud, too)!
5. Despite the strange metallic taste in my mouth, water is still good.  I put some lemon juice in my water today (a tip from a former chemo patient), and it was great.  I'm so glad that I still love water!
6. Last night, three of our kids (Sam, Leah, and Emma) sang at a local church/school function, and it made me so happy.  They were a fill-in for a singer who was sick, but they performed a beautiful impromptu musical number.  Oh, and they had a very terrific accompanist: Jerry.  I love to hear our kids sing!
7. Yesterday we had some ceiling fans installed in our home, and they are so nice, an energy-efficient and lovely addition to our home.
8. Yesterday my wigs and hats arrived in the mail.  Granted, the wigs make me look sort of like a middle-aged, strange, blonde version of the Beatles, but I'll work with them...and laugh.  And the hats and turban are all winners!  Plus, a friend gave me an adorable hat yesterday, which I love.  It will probably be the thing that I wear most often around the house this summer.
9. We all watched a great old Humphrey Bogart movie last night, and I loved it.  I'm a sucker for old (good) movies!
10. I got a phone call this morning from my big brother, Ashley, and we laughed ourselves silly during our conversation.  I love my brothers and my sis so much!

That was a list of ten things, and I could go on and on.  There's much to be grateful for, and I'll share more from time to time.  I'm so grateful for my wonderful friends and family members.  Love to y'all!

 

Cathi

Cathi Update

Cathi is doing GREAT! Since her trip to the ER Sunday night, her bones have ached a little because of a shot she was given to increase her white blood cell count. She also is having more of a "metal" taste in her mouth and needs to take several naps during the day, but she's eating normally and is otherwise her old self. If you talk to her, you'll notice her voice is still raspy from the biopsy surgery over a month ago, but hopefully that will get better in time.

Our son Sam just drove in last night from Provo, UT and we get to keep him for a week while he takes a break from school. He hadn't seen Cathi since before we learned about her cancer. He really struggled with the news after we called him in February. The minute he opened our door last night, he went searching for his Mom...it was pretty neat to see them embrace...and for him to see how well she's doing.

We're now preparing for the next stage...hair loss! Cathi has ordered two wigs and Sam brought his clippers from Provo and has volunteered to do the honors before going back to school. (The irony here is that Cathi has always protested Sam's extreme hair styles...fairly long and flowing in highschool and buzzed quite short before and after his mission.) I've suggested that we either give her a mohawk like Mr T or one of those "bald on top with hair on the sides" look like Larry on the Three Stooges before shaving it all off. She seems to be pretty willing to let us all have our fun...love that woman!

Cathi Update

It's about 10:30pm on Sunday night and we just got home from the emergency room at Skyridge Hospital. Cathi took her temperature early this evening and it was 100.6 degrees (we've been strongly told to immediately contact a doctor if it goes above 100.4). Since it is the weekend, we just drove to the emergency room where they took Cathi's blood and urine samples and did an xray. They said her white blood cells had dropped to 1200 (normal is 4500) and were a little concerned since she had an injection the day after her chemo treatment to help keep this count up. It appears she has a urinary tract infection that might be causing this. They ended up giving her antibiotics into her IV, some little orange pills for her UTI,some pain medication and a shot that should get her white blood count up again and sent us home with a prescription for more anti-biotics. I'll work from home again tomorrow and keep an eye on her!

We left the hospital again feeling very grateful to have such great medical care. Cathi's doing great, keeping very positive.

Cathi Update

Okay, I feel a little lonely.  It's about 8:30pm and I told Cathi earlier that I would stop working around 8pm so we could watch a movie together (trying to catch up for the time I spent going to the hospital with her today for her "hydration").  Leah is in her room doing homework, Willy is with the Fords (who have practically adopted him), and Emma is enjoying her big opening night performance at the middle school.  I stopped working on my project, turned off my computer (although it killed me) and walked upstairs...and as I climbed the stairs, I started feeling sort of excited about enjoying a relaxing evening with Cathi.

When I walked into our bedroom, I could tell right away that Cathi was in some serious sleep.  I put a load of laundry in then went back to the bedroom to see if, by chance, she was awake.  As I stood there looking at her, she opened her eyes and said "hi."  I told her I was just turning the lamp off so she could go to sleep and that I would wait up for the kids.  She smiled and within two seconds, was in deep sleep again.

For me, today is the REAL beginning of the chemo experience.  Cathi has been quiet and tired, and has been feeling an increasing achiness come over her throughout the day, particularly in her chest area.  We took a short walk earlier this evening and while we were walking, she apologized for not being very social...to which I replied, that was a really dumb thing to apologize about!  We laughed as I poked fun of someone going through chemo feeling bad she isn't the life of the party!  (Sort of like every time she has given birth and apologized to the doctor for acting like a baby...)  I told her that one of the changes I'm hoping will happen through all this is that she will STOP apologizing for DUMB things and allow herself to be less than her best.  She's going to try...

Well, now I'm not in the mood to work anymore.  I think I'll go grab a piece of homemade pie that one of the wonderful ladies in our church brought over earlier (along with a full, delicious meal). 

I'm guessing this might be..."welcome to the new normal"... 

Cathi Update

As of 5pm today, Cathi is doing GREAT!  She hasn't been nauseated once (due to some major anti-nausea medication that is now standard with chemo therapy) and she slept very well last night with the help of some other medication she was advised to take.  I told her that I might make up some bad symptoms for the blog so we can keep those dinners coming...just kidding.

Below is a picture of Cathi with our daughter Emma "in costume."  One of Cathi's first worries, once she learned of her cancer, was the possibility of missing Emma's middle school musical.  She is playing the role of a song bird in the show, "Once Upon A Mattress."  Ironically, the show runs this week from Thursday to Saturday...which, we've been told, could be the hardest days for Cathi dealing with the effects of her first chemo therapy treatment.  Emma had the idea of inviting her mom to her first full dress rehearsal on Monday night as a special audience member.  So...just in case she can't go with the rest of us Friday night, Cathi is happy she was at least able to attend a practice run.

Emma & Her Mom

Many of you have mentioned having a difficult time commenting on this blog.  I adjusted a few configurations that will allow better access.  Anyone who desires should now be able to leave a comment, but the comments may take a few days to post since I will screen them first...sorry for any frustration!

Cathi Update

I'm sitting here in the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center at Skyridge Hospital with Cathi as she gets her first chemo therapy medications.  We came at 9am and it's now about 12:30pm.  I think we have another couple of hours to go.  She's had blood tests and received her "pre" medication including an anti-nausea drug and a steroid.  Shown in the picture below is Cathi receiving one of the three chemo medicines...this one seems to be the most "notorious" of the bunch...I've heard it referred to as the "Red Devil".  The other two will be given to her through I.V.

Just as we've learned with all previous steps in this cancer treatment...once the mystery goes away, so does the fear.  The administration of the chemo drugs is no longer a mystery!  Cathi was pretty nervous about getting the line put in her port (the port that was surgically inserted under her skin about a week ago and is still very tender).  But as soon as it was done and especially as this red stuff started flowing, she had a big smile on her face and said, "I'm doing it!"  This next photo of Cathi eating lunch during her treatment shows the Cathi I remember at our wedding reception.  I couldn't eat a thing and kept asking myself, "what am I doing??"  Cathi seemed to become more animated and eat more voraciously as the evening went on (which made me even more nervous)!  Anyway...a sign that she's doing GREAT!

I will write more often during the next week to keep you all updated on how her body reacts to these drugs.  I'm working from home the rest of the week and will be keeping a close eye on her.  We also live in the best neighborhood and are part of the most awesome ward (Mormon congregation) in the entire world!  Every day we get calls and emails from people who want to do something to help.  I also have great friends at work who are constantly checking up on us.

I'll end today's post by passing on some advice that one of the oncology nurses (strongly) shared with me.  He looked at me and said, "Husband, your job is to immediately cut off anyone who wants to tell Cathi things they've heard or read about these drugs or share any kind of drama or sad story about chemo therapy."  I'll add to his words by saying...keep those positive stories and your great moral support coming!  We've just started perhaps the most difficult phase of this challenge and know we can get through it with your help.  We love each of you and express our gratitude in every prayer...for YOU!

Miracle #9 - Real Love

Cathi is doing well and ready to move forward with this next phase of her cancer treatment! Last night, we went out for her "last" big meal at Outback Steakhouse...before her taste buds change with the chemo therapy. We had a great time!

As we spent time with each other, I started realizing one of the many blessings we are experiencing from Cancer. We are falling in love again. Rather than half looking at the big screen television in the restaurant, I wanted to hear every word Cathi said. I caught myself looking at her smile and thinking, "I am married to the classiest, wittiest, most beautiful woman in the world." Like many married couples, over time, we've allowed ourselves to focus more and more on our own lives...my work, church responsibilities, my hobbies...her books, maintaining our home, transporting the kids, etc. Life can become so routine and predictable.  But who could have predicted cancer?  Last night, I put everything aside and focused on Cathi.

We came home, kicked the kids out of the basement and enjoyed watching a classic romance on Netflix. After a few

hours of watching these attractive movie stars portray the true meaning of passion and love, I turned off the TV and looked over at this 48 year old woman sitting next to me;  a woman who was raised in a small western mountain community that willingly uprooted from everything she knew to move to the East Coast with a husband and a brand new baby who she was a bit afraid of; a woman who bore four more children without family nearby as we continued to move around the country and leave familiar surroundings; a woman who, so many times, stood by patiently while her husband wrestled with pride and self-centeredness; a woman who, day after day, quietly built a place of refuge for her family, with tradition, music, literature, humor, faith and sacrifice.  I may not be brooding Heathcliff with extra broad shoulders and a manly chin...and Cathi may not be your typical tortured heroine with flowing tresses running down her slight frame...but we are learning what it means to really love and what it feels like to truly be loved.  Last night, after the credits stopped and the music faded, I was left feeling very grateful for something Cancer is teaching me.

Joy in the Journey

Leah decided to make her mom's cancer and how our family is handling it the subject of a recent school project.  Click below to watch her 8+ minute show.
 

Miracle #8

(from Cathi)

I'll admit that as a youngster, I had a bit of an obsession with medical shows and the "coolness" of being a doctor or a nurse.  I absolutely loved Marcus Welby,M.D. and Medical Center and thought that all of the doctor/nurse excitement was very glamorous. I even loved reading books about young girls who volunteered as candy stripers in large hospitals.  Oh, what an exciting life!

Later, as I got older, the glamour began to fade for me, and I was just happy that I didn't have to see a doctor or nurse very often.  I appreciated people who worked in medical professions (including my three great sisters-in-law, who are all very skilled nurses), but I really didn't give them much thought.  As an adult, I've appreciated  good Ob/Gyns, good pediatricians, and various specialists that we've gone to as we've had kids, raised kids, and just gone through the basics of life.  I've been disappointed and frustrated  at times with those who have treated me or our kids like just a bunch of body parts (or maybe just one specific body part) rather than an actual person.  Those kinds of people should be working in laboratories, rather than dealing with people in need! 

But today I'm thinking a lot about the many compassionate, skilled, WONDERFUL medical professionals who have helped me a great deal during the past couple of months.  I've been blessed to have many good people help me through this cancer journey, and I know I'm just getting started.  I'll mention a few...

Kristyn Everett is a physician's assistant here in Castle Rock, and she's the one who discovered the lump in my breast during my well-check in late-January.  I'm grateful for her thoroughness and skill and for her great, comforting demeanor.  She told me later that she's always very grateful when she's part of an early-detection experience.  Cancer is yucky, but early-detection is good!

The wonderful staff at the Sally Jobe diagnostic centers, who helped me with mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, and a breast MRI.  Every single person was kind, caring and helpful.

Dr. Jodi Widner, the surgeon who perfomed my mastectomy, is such a great doctor!  When Jerry and I first met her, she immediately put us at ease with the way that she explained things and the way she treated us.  I'm so grateful for her skill and for the way that she listens to me and to Jerry when we visit with her.  To me, she's all that a doctor should be.

The good folks at Littleton Adventist Hospital, where I had my mastectomy.  With the exception of one slightly loopy nurse named Bob (who tried to put a blood pressure cuff on my right arm--the arm with the nineteen lymph nodes removed--despite a bright pink reminder bracelet), I received excellent care and kindness during my stay there. Gratefully, nurses like Bob are the exception, rather than the rule. 

Dr. Michelle  Basche, my oncologist.  I don't relate to her personality as well as I do to Dr. Widner's, but she is an excellent, smart, caring doctor.  She has to explain a lot of yucky stuff in order to educate us well (so her job is very hard, in my opinion), and I'm grateful for her skill at what she does.

Dr. John Propp, the cardio-thoracic surgeon who performed my biopsy surgery last week.  When we found a mass of "something" on my PET scan two weeks ago, it was a pretty nerve-wracking time.  Of course, we tried to be optimistic and patient, but it was not easy.  So when Dr. Propp's office called and said that he'd meet me on a Monday, rather than a Friday, that was so nice--four less days of waiting.  And when we met him last Monday, it was a real blessing.  The way he treated us, answered questions, and spoke openly with us was just what I had been hoping and praying for.  He told us that if it were his wife in my situation, he would want answers FAST, that waiting is the worst possible part of medical challenges.  So true!  As you already know from this blog, Dr. Propp made room for my surgery the very next day, and the news was great--so much simpler than it could have been.

The wonderful staff at Medical Center of  Aurora, where I had the second surgery.  Every single person who helped  me (us) that day was top-of-the-line!  From the insurance/admittance person to the x-ray techs, EKG person, surgery prep nurses, recovery nurses, the anesthesiologist (who had a fabulous sense of humor), and my surgeon, Dr. Propp, I really

liked them all.  That morning, as I sat waiting in my cute little hospital gown, I thought about what a blessing it was to have skilled, compassionate, good-humored people helping me that day.  No, it wasn't fun to be having another surgery just twenty days after my mastectomy, but if I had to do it, what a great place to be.  Blessings like that are not to be taken for granted!

Kristy Hippe, my physical therapist.  Kristy is a lymphedema specialist, and she knows a lot about how to help people recover from mastectomies.  In just the two times that I've been able to visit her, she's helped me so much!  My range of motion is improving greatly!  She's helped me a lot in person, and she's also got me doing exercises here at home, and I'm grateful for what I can now do.  I look forward to visiting her a couple more times before I start chemo.

Here's a nice little note about Kristy: During my first visit with her, we  found out that we were both from Castle Rock, had daughters in 8th grade at Mesa Middle School, who were on the same academic team and in the school musical together.  Fun coincidences!  Yesterday, when I saw her again, she told me, "Now I know that my daughter and yours are quite good friends. Weeks ago, when Danielle came home and told me that her friend Emma's mom had breast cancer, I started praying for you.  I didn't know who you were, but our family prayed for you, and know I know you!"  I have no idea of her religious beliefs, but that really touched me.

The staff at the Rocky Mountain  Cancer Center at Sky Ridge Medical Center,especially the nurse who took Jerry and me through our chemo training the other day.  Wow, she was great!  Chemo is a complicated beast, and there are lots of things to learn and discuss, and this nurse was a breath of fresh air.  We talked about some scary (and wacky) side effects and how to monitor things in the coming weeks and months, but we didn't walk away feeling bleak and full of gloom and doom.  This nurse (and I wish I could remember her name) gave us good information, but she also was full of good humor and optimism.  She assured me that while she has to tell us about every side effect (like those crazy medicine commercials on TV), I won't have every single one.  Despite the challenges, chemo is definitely worth it, and she reassured us of that.

I'm so grateful for good people who have helped and will continue to help me in a challenging time of my life.  They're such blessings to me!  I can't forget all of the many doctors and scientists who keep making strides in the area of cancer research.  I don't know their names, but I'll give them a big THANK YOU, too. And to my favorite male nurse (one who didn't go to school for this but is learning quickly), Nurse Jerry:  THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!  I couldn't do it without you!

Cathi

Come What May, and Love It

It is ironic how past messages by our apostles and prophets now take on different meaning for me.  One talk in particular, is one I remember for its humor.  Elder Joseph Wirthlin, one of the twelve apostles, gave a talk in October 2008 entitled, "Come What May, and Love It."  At certain points of the talk, he had the congregation laughing so hard, we were wiping tears. 

This morning, as I prepare for this great Sabbath Day, I read the talk again...this time gaining profound insight with the simple principles he learned from his own experience with adversity.  One principle that is so relevant to me now, is the principle of compensation.  Elder Wirthlin said, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

I know there are some who follow this blog that currently struggle with personal challenges that sometimes seem difficult to bear.  There are times when all the lights go out and we are left on our own to stop and contemplate the darkness.  Because I've watched and learned as Cathi and I have experienced this a few times recently, I want YOU to know that you cannot stop walking forward when all seems hopeless.  We came to this life to gain a better one.  I believe that, in these moments, we are making the most critical decisions of our lives.  These moments are our greatest opportunities to be tested and eventually compensated for whatever is being taken from us.  I know the Lord loves us because He has prepared a way for us to become like Him...and these moments are part of that journey. 

If you have some time, please read or watch Elder Wirthlin's entire message (particularly if you want a good laugh)...click http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng&query=come+may+love.  If you have only 3 1/2 minutes, click and watch the short version below.   

Cathi Update

We met with the oncologist again on Friday and now have a better idea of Cathi's treatment. Over the next two weeks, Cathi will have another surgery to install a port near her collar bone that will facilitate the chemo therapy. On April 12, Cathi will begin her first of six rounds of very aggressive medicines. She had a choice of a "two-drug" or a "three-drug" regimen and, being a true warrior, she chose the latter. The symptoms of fatigue, nausea, metalic taste, etc. will all be pretty strong and we were told she should expect to lose her hair, eyebrows, and her beautiful long eyelashes within the first two weeks.

Now that we are past the initial surgical challenges and the uncertainty of cancer spreading elsewhere, this next step is sort of settling in. While it's easy to forget the great miracles we've already witnessed and focus on this new, incredible physical challenge, we keep coming back to what we're being taught. It's all about faith, open communication (especially within our family), putting others before ourselves, looking for the learning and blessings along the way, and refusing to swallow this whole thing in its entirety...we're learning to take it one day at a time and sometimes, one moment at a time!

We love all of you and have come to appreciate your sensitivity and goodness over the past several weeks. We still need your prayers and have relied upon them many times.

And now, for your viewing pleasure...here are a few pictures of little Cathi Carroll growing up in Heber, UT.  When I was younger, our family made the trek through the mountains from Salt Lake through Heber to Vernal to visit my Grandmother Van Leuven.  I distinctly remember announcing, as we passed the old A&W on Main Street in Heber that I would someday marry a girl from Heber and become a dentist.  Well, I didn't quite make dental school, but I did marry the prettiest little gal from one of the prettiest little places on the earth. 

Miracle #7

I brought my laptop to the hospital to get some work done while waiting for Cathi's surgery to be finished. She’s been in the operating room for thirty minutes and I’m finding my mind wandering to the deeper principles of life rather than concentrating on work. Before her surgery, I watched Cathi sign a few papers, one for the surgeon and one for the anesthesiologist. It reminded me of a few months ago when I signed some waivers enabling me to face my fear and jump from an airplane at 12,000 feet. Both of us hesitant but determined to push on.

Yesterday morning, I began a slow, subtle descent down the path of logic. I began my morning prayers asking the Lord to help me to know what I should have faith in. Should I have the faith to know that “we can lick this” and have no doubt the Lord will agree with our desires…or should I have the faith to completely turn this over to the Lord and refuse to give into fear or discouragement? Which faith is stronger? Which faith is needed for me to lead my family?

Cathi can always tell when I’m struggling with something. So on our way to visit with the surgeon yesterday, I felt compelled to share my conflict with her. She became quiet and the mood became solemn. Finally, her reply to me was that I should have faith in both. She looked at me and said with resolution, “Jerry, I am going to fight this cancer with everything I have…my physical self, my mental self, and my spiritual self. And I will continue to have faith that I will fully recover from this.” What she was really saying was, “Jerry, I need you to be with me on this…I need you to have child-like faith that the Lord will bless us with this righteous desire and leave your rational thinking to the side.”

It was then that I realized that I had given into deception from the adversary. Although I started the morning with an innocent, selfless question, I had slowly turned my focus inward and gradually moved toward a world of “drama.” With Cathi’s response, it dawned on me that I was no longer feeling light but darkness. As a father, I’ve always used light and darkness to teach my kids how they can discern if the direction they are going is the right one. I was going the wrong direction and Cathi knew it. Ironically, Cathi was on this path just a few days earlier when she opened the door to my office, tear-stained face, asking if we could talk. In both cases, the Lord blessed us to help each other gain a perspective based on truth. In both cases, we backed off a dark path and experienced an increase of joy, peace, and determination. Truth is not based on man’s reasoning and is often illogical. Truth doesn’t change, science constantly changes. I was becoming more confused and discouraged and forgot something I already knew....truth sets us free and gives us power.

A good example of truth is found in humor. Last night we went out to dinner because we just needed to get out as a family. As we came out of the restaurant, the Denver area was experiencing 45 mile per hour winds. We could hardly stop laughing as we climbed into our van, vividly picturing a wig blowing off the head of our future bald Mom…and her running after it in her ever-so-athletic way…

This morning, both Cathi and I commented to the nurses that we had never been treated with so much kindness and wonderful service at any other hospital. After Cathi signed her papers, the anesthesiologist walked toward Cathi’s side just as the nurse was saying to me, “You can kiss her now and say goodbye.” Cathi had a look of horror on her face as she thought the nurse was speaking to the anesthesiologist! Once she realized the nurse was talking to me, we all started hooting and Cathi, practically crying from her laughter said, “this REALLY is a friendly hospital!”

I just got a call from the surgeon, who told me they did a thorough search inside the thoracic cavity and could NOT find any signs of cancer in Cathi's chest. Once again, another miracle. These past few days, since learning of the potential spreading of more cancer, we both felt ourselves being encompassed by darkness. Cathi had me married off to someone else who would be spoiling her grandchildren and I was going down a similar, dismal path. But the Lord has restored and even increased our light. It's almost like we've been given our future back. Cathi just told me she feels like doing the "Highland Fling." We know the next step of chemo therapy will not be an easy one nor will it be brief. But we feel so much stronger than we have since this challenge began. And once again, we've learned the Lord is in charge...and child-like faith is necessary for miracles to happen.

Cathi Update

Just got a call from the surgeon's office and Cathi is scheduled for surgery 11am tomorrow. Hopefully, we will know by end of day tomorrow if this area in the center of her chest is cancer or just evidence of the infection she had. Keep her in your prayers tonight!

Cathi Update

We just returned from a consultation with Cathi's new thoracic surgeon. He confirmed what we already knew and told us he will get Cathi on the schedule THIS WEEK. I had researched information on what I thought this procedure was on the internet this past weekend only to learn today that it is a less invasive, much quicker healing procedure than I have been worrying about. This was a great relief! This doctor was kind, approachable, and informative...and was an answer to all the specific things Cathi had prayed for. He is doing all he can to create room in his schedule for Cathi. We left with a great sense of relief...and again, an assurance that someone is watching over us. We believe that Cathi should be able to start chemo therapy sooner than we thought. More to come...

Cathi Update

Wednesday, Cathi had a full-body PET scan.  This morning, we met with her oncologist to go over the findings of all the tests, including the scan.  We've actually been looking forward to this appointment, thinking we will finally have a clearer perspective about the road ahead of us.  (This is especially true for the woman who alphabetizes our DVDs, fills our bathroom mirror with little "to do" notes for herself, and leads our family in a weekly planning meeting every Sunday.)

Unfortunately, the PET scan raised a concern about potential cancer in the center of Cathi's chest.  However, the oncologist told us that this highlighted image could either be the remains of an infection Cathi had last weekend when one of her drainage tubes became blocked or it could be a benign growth in some of the lymph nodes in that area.  It is uncertain at this point. 

The chemo is now on hold and we will be meeting with a new doctor who specializes in the cardiac-thoracic region of the body.  He will likely schedule a biopsy procedure where he will extract some of this tissue and test it for cancer.  Originally, the appointment wasn't until next Friday, but...after a few hours of watching Cathi struggle with this unexpected turn in the road, we were blessed with a "tender mercy."  We received a call this afternoon moving the appointment up to Monday (in just two days).  There is a slight possibility the procedure could even be done next week so that Cathi can begin her chemo treatment much sooner than we first thought.

Some would call these tender mercies just coincidence.  But I know what they really are.  This afternoon, someone needed to know that she hadn't been forgotten.  That phone call was His way of saying, "Cathi, I'm here."

From Cathi

GRATITUDE

It's been one month exactly since my cancer was diagnosed.  What a month it's been!  I can't say that it's been fun, but it truly has been a month of blessings.  I have so much to be thankful for, and I'd like to share just a few thoughts about gratitude.

In 2007, Sister Bonnie D. Parkin gave a wonderful talk in our LDS General Conference, all about gratitude.  I really liked something that she said, although it seemed hard to grasp at the time.  I put this quote in my journal and have read it from time to time. "Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as hard things.  Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.'  All things means just that: good things, difficult things--not just some things.  He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy.  This is another evidence of His love."

When I first heard that talk and later read it again and again, I thought, "How could I be grateful for ALL things, even the difficult ones?"  Well, now I'm learning that even those difficult things--and we all have them--are truly blessings if we can learn from them.  The Lord wants us to be happy, and a great way to be happy is to be grateful.

I am so grateful for the blessings in my life.  I've got a fantastic husband and wonderful kids who make me smile and laugh all the time.  I've got the greatest extended family members and friends that a person could ask for.  I've been flooded with cards, letters, phone calls, e-mails, food, and the most creative, delightful gifts that you could imagine, since this yucky cancer came into my life.  I feel so spoiled!  But even more than that, I've been blessed with the faith and prayers of great people everywhere.  My burden is being made light by all of you, and I'm truly grateful.  The Lord is in charge, and He knows what we need and when we need it, and I'm grateful for the blessing of knowing that.

Those are the BIG things for which I'm grateful.  But there are lots of little things, too.  For example, a friend dropped off a book that she thought I might like to borrow--one that she'd read and enjoyed and hoped that I'd like, too.  That's a small thing, but it meant the world to me.  And I could list pages of things similar to that, for which I'm very grateful.  In fact, in the coming days, I may contribute a bit more to Jerry's blog, just to share some of my feelings of gratitude. 

On a medical note, I had a follow-up visit with my surgeon yesterday.  Things are healing well, and I got to have my drains removed from my chest.  Now, that's something to be grateful for!  Hurray!

In closing, I want to share the words of a song that I sang when I was a little kid in Primary and Sunday School.  The words are very simple and repetitious, but they describe exactly what I'm feeling right now:

I am glad for many things, many things, many things.

I am glad for many things that are mine today.

Thank you, thank you, my heart sings, my heart sings, my heart sings.

Thank you for the many things that are mine today.

Cathi

Miracle #6

 

Emma



Leah

The other night, I heard shrieks of laughter coming from Cathi and the kids. I climbed the stairs, turned the corner and walked into a the middle of a strange fashion show. Last week, I bought Cathi some sort of camisole for women who have had mastectomies and need pockets for their drainage tubes. Along with the camisole came some "special" padding (we rarely say the "B" word in our home... :)  It was this special padding that was the subject of the fashion show...even Willy was getting into the act!

It was a nice reminder to not take myself or our challenges too seriously.  One reason I fell in love with my college buddy Cathi Carroll 25 years ago was her great wit.  The gift of humor is one of life's miracles that have gotten us through many "dramas" in our married life.  Here are some great quotes to think about...

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life."

William Arthur Ward

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."

Henry Ward Beecher

"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing."

Allen Klein

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

Francis Bacon

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter."

Bill Cosby